Tuesday, May 30, 2006

How to pass a drug test

One of the things that has changed in The America since I left 14 years ago is drug testing as a standard prerequisite for employment. I don’t know what the percentage is in terms of jobs that actually require a prospective employee to pass a drug test, but I consider drug testing a fascist practice – with the obvious exception of jobs like airline pilot or bus driver. I understand that many Fortune 500 companies, for example, are requiring drug tests for people who are going to do nothing more potentially dangerous than sit behind a desk at a computer.


Luckily, Americans are often clever and resourceful people (again, I don’t know the percentage), and many strategies for beating drug tests have been discovered. It’s late over here in the Czech Republic, but before I take a codeine pill and go to bed, I just want to share with you one article that I found tonight upon researching the subject. It is entitled “Fooling the Bladder Cops” and is a fairly comprehensive collection of information on how to beat drug tests.


During a job interview, have you ever been asked to urinate for your new employer? New applicants for many of the Fortune 500 corporations are now being forced to take a drug test. In fact, 15 million will be tested this year. Drug by-products can be detected in urine, blood, hair, external residue, and even perspiration! Drugs aren't the only things they test for; employers are using urinalysis to test women for pregnancy. Pregnant women are getting laid off or denied employment after taking such a test. Parents are spying on their children. The DOD Directive requires the military to screen all active duty members annually. If you don't want to be a victim of the drug war, this text will help you. If you are well known, this text may protect your reputation. I strongly recommended that drug users (pot smokers in particular) read this. Other drugs are covered as well, but marijuana is the main focus of this paper.


http://www.marijuana.com/content.php3


Anonymous A-hole, good luck with your test tomorrow. I really hope you pass.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah it is real fascist to want an employee who is not on drugs. You know an employee who is less likely to miss work, steal or develop problems down the road.

Would you feel comfortable having your retirement fund run by a heroine addict? Or how about dropping your kids off to a daycare that is run by drug users?

Monkey's Max said...

SS, first of all, an employer should not need a drug test to tell if a prospective employee is a heroin addict and parents should be paying more attention than you give them credit for when it comes to where they send their kids for daycare.

Anyway, SS and Riggs, it is always lovely to see you both and I am sorry if I have offended your big brother sensibilities.

My problem is not with employers who don't want addicts on their payroll. My problem is that it is not an employer's business what I do in my non-work time. If I want to smoke a couple of bowls at the weekend, or pop a couple of pills, that is my private business. Have you never gone to work with a hangover?

If my recreational drug use affects my ability to do my job, then the employer is within his/her rights to fire me. But if I can do my job and, in fact, don't touch drugs during the week, why should my employer or prospective employer invade my privacy to find out if I smoked dope at any time during the last 6 months? And what about false positives?

And don't cry about how illegal drug users cost their employers money. What about drinkers? What about people who have babies or get sick? But my point is actually privacy and I believe that drug testing is an invasion of privacy.

Anonymous said...

Drug testing is not an invasion of privacy because you are free not to take the test.

The rest of your comments just go to show that your brain has been fried.

As far as companies staying out of your business during non-business hours; would you be willing to turn down health benefits if ailments arise during non-business hours?

Monkey's Max said...

SS, you are not really free not to take the test if every decent prospective job you come across requires a test.

Your health benefits comment is ridiculous - we all pay for our health insurance and of course it is not limited to business hours, just like we can spend the salaries we earn outside of business hours.

Riggs, I don't represent the company I work for except when I am at work. In the time that I own, I represent only myself.

Anonymous said...

A study of 450 individuals found that people who smoke marijuana frequently but do not smoke tobacco have more health problems and miss more days of work than nonsmokers8. Many of the extra sick days among the marijuana smokers in the study were for respiratory illnesses.

Anonymous said...

Even infrequent abuse can cause burning and stinging of the mouth and throat, often accompanied by a heavy cough. Someone who smokes marijuana regularly may have many of the same respiratory problems that tobacco smokers do, such as daily cough and phlegm production, more frequent acute chest illness, a heightened risk of lung infections, and a greater tendency to obstructed airways9. Smoking marijuana possibly increases the likelihood of developing cancer of the head or neck. A study comparing 173 cancer patients and 176 healthy individuals produced evidence that marijuana smoking doubled or tripled the risk of these cancers10.

Anonymous said...

Marijuana abuse also has the potential to promote cancer of the lungs and other parts of the respiratory tract because it contains irritants and carcinogens9,11. In fact, marijuana smoke contains 50 to 70 percent more carcinogenic hydrocarbons than does tobacco smoke12. It also induces high levels of an enzyme that converts certain hydrocarbons into their carcinogenic form—levels that may accelerate the changes that ultimately produce malignant cells13. Marijuana users usually inhale more deeply and hold their breath longer than tobacco smokers do, which increases the lungs' exposure to carcinogenic smoke. These facts suggest that, puff for puff, smoking marijuana may be more harmful to the lungs than smoking tobacco.

Anonymous said...

Some of marijuana's adverse health effects may occur because THC impairs the immune system's ability to fight disease. In laboratory experiments that exposed animal and human cells to THC or other marijuana ingredients, the normal disease-preventing reactions of many of the key types of immune cells were inhibited14. In other studies, mice exposed to THC or related substances were more likely than unexposed mice to develop bacterial infections and tumors15,16

Anonymous said...

Research clearly demonstrates that marijuana has the potential to cause problems in daily life or make a person's existing problems worse. Depression17, anxiety17, and personality disturbances18 have been associated with chronic marijuana use. Because marijuana compromises the ability to learn and remember information, the more a person uses marijuana the more he or she is likely to fall behind in accumulating intellectual, job, or social skills. Moreover, research has shown that marijuana’s adverse impact on memory and learning can last for days or weeks after the acute effects of the drug wear off19,20

Anonymous said...

Students who smoke marijuana get lower grades and are less likely to graduate from high school, compared with their nonsmoking peers21,22,23,24. A study of 129 college students found that, among those who smoked the drug at least 27 of the 30 days prior to being surveyed, critical skills related to attention, memory, and learning were significantly impaired, even after the students had not taken the drug for at least 24 hours20. These "heavy" marijuana abusers had more trouble sustaining and shifting their attention and in registering, organizing, and using information than did the study participants who had abused marijuana no more than 3 of the previous 30 days. As a result, someone who smokes marijuana every day may be functioning at a reduced intellectual level all of the time.

Anonymous said...

Workers who smoke marijuana are more likely than their coworkers to have problems on the job. Several studies associate workers' marijuana smoking with increased absences, tardiness, accidents, workers' compensation claims, and job turnover. A study among postal workers found that employees who tested positive for marijuana on a pre-employment urine drug test had 55 percent more industrial accidents, 85 percent more injuries, and a 75-percent increase in absenteeism compared with those who tested negative for marijuana use26. In another study, heavy marijuana abusers reported that the drug impaired several important measures of life achievement including cognitive abilities, career status, social life, and physical and mental health27

Anonymous said...

Long-term marijuana abuse can lead to addiction for some people; that is, they abuse the drug compulsively even though it interferes with family, school, work, and recreational activities. Drug craving and withdrawal symptoms can make it hard for long-term marijuana smokers to stop abusing the drug. People trying to quit report irritability, sleeplessness, and anxiety32. They also display increased aggression on psychological tests, peaking approximately one week after the last use of the drug33.

Anonymous said...

im not gonna sit here and write a research paper for you on why private employers have the right to drug test their employees. This is a blog not Harvard.

no one is saying the government has the right to drug test people off the street. we are talking about private, for profit, businesses who have stakeholders.

As a private business owner you can hire whoever you want. Go ahead.

MM made the point that only occupations such as pilots should be tested. Every job that someone does affects someone in some shape or form. As a consumer I dont want to have to worry about who is taking care of my kids, my money or even washing my car.

Do i give a shit if you smoke weed on your spare time? NO but if I found out you were watching my kid or managing my mutual fund it would be the end of that.

As a business owner I wouldn't want my customers to find out my employees were drug users of any kind so thus I would try to weed them out before I hired them. Is the system perfect? No but it does deter.

AA,

you also take a shot about my employer approving my time spent on marijuana research. Couldn't I make the same assuption about you since you are posting at the same time? Do you know if i am self employed, unemployed, retired or if i just have the day off?

Tits Malone said...

MM,

Thanks for the links and thank you to anonymous a-hole...lots of interesting reading.

I have a question: Are the drugs tests just to find the "street" drugs or are employers looking at everything?

Tits Malone said...

Anonymous a-hole,

If that is the case, is there anything to stop any sort of discrimination based on the fact a person might be taking anti-depressants or medication to do with cronic health?

Anonymous said...

AA,

Doesnt that kind of prove that drug tests work?

I as an employer do not want pot smokers and you as a pot smoker would not seek employment from me, a know tester.

Anonymous said...

Interestingly, I had an experience in the US in 1989 or so. Applying for a factory job in CA - summer work between freshman and sophomore years - I failed a drug test - positive for marijuana. The employer (chocolate factory) didn't so much care, as long as I wasn't drinking and/or using on the job. They were screening for harder substances, and admitted as much to me.

Seems that if employers could be objective about the drugs that are "acceptable" in their field, drug testing might mean more.

Anonymous said...

Sinister Steve, you are a loser. Before you post such propaganda crap, go smoke a joint instead of being so close minded. You have no idea what you are talking about. People have the right to their privacy in the USA. You are just another peice of garbage that wants to violate a persons rights. What someone does in their offtime is their own business when it is done behind closed doors in ones own home. Go fuck yourself and your posts.

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