Thursday, April 27, 2006

Another Jail Story from the City of Kafka


This episode took place yesterday, it is all true, and it is brilliantly and hilariously recounted by my friend Patrick at Dog Eat Blog. Enjoy.

http://www.prague-spot.com/blog/article/232/robots-mo-prague-popo

4 comments:

celinka said...

To make you "foreigners" feel better. I am a Canadian. I have a Czech passport because I was born to Czechs who left for Canada in 68. My Czech passport was useless in the Czech Republic in terms of getting the paperwork for a job and I had to get an obcanka which overpowers a silly passport. You would think having a Czech passport that getting this laminated ID card is a sinch. No way! I was sent from the unrenovated bureaucratic ugly offices with left over communist bitches in Prague to the one in Brno, because my parents are from Brno and that is where my address was. Becuase it works alphabetically you always end up talking to the same communist bitch with purple hair who should remember me, tall blonde crying but they don't, so I can start with a new attitude each time which gets me no where. My official address was in Brno, though I lived in Prague and worked there for over four years.
Long story short. I was never put in jail however I sympathize with my fellow Quebec frog because I was yelled at, had doors slammed in my face, had documents taken from me, was told I didn't have the right ones after my mother went to the offices and specifically asked what I needed and when to submit it. The rule is, and every Czech will tell you, that it takes four months to get an obcanka or a green book reniewed. Even if you have the right paperwork and hand it in on time, they are going to delay your ass because they are bitter, can't get a better job, hate foreigners, hate Czechs that leave and come back and because they can. Four months and loads of tears. Max considers me a Czech. A Czech passport didn't help me. So tell me who the fuck is Czech? Then I had to change my address. I was shaking in my shoes and refused but my mom made me or actually took care of everything. I just had to go to Brno and sign something and pick up my new obcanka. It still took four months, almost a heart attack and tears.
Je me souviens mon cher grenouille.

Anonymous said...

Damn, that sucks. Some of these people are just all around nasty to everybody, eh? You have my empathy.

"you always end up talking to the same communist bitch with purple hair"... lol... how true - what is it with the lousy dye jobs of the middle-aged to elderly here? That description immediately brings to mind the abbrasive cow at the business license bureau (zivnostensky urad) in Kunratice, Prague 4. A creature with nitro-boosted speech amplified by a megaphone in her voice-box. She gave false information, feigned ingorance, condescended me and generally delayed the process of my getting my "vyzva" for my business license, a document required for the VC 62 (business) visa.

In terms of "zivnostensky urads", life in Prague 9 is *way* better - if only all the clerks could be as patient and kind as the woman who handles my file here. The folks in that office actually seem to *gasp* enjoy their jobs.

Ah well, pretty soon I won't have to deal with any of this crap, hopefully before the latest round in the Canada vs. CR visa pissing match takes a turn for the worse.

Patrick

celinka said...

Is getting your business licence the same as getting a Zivno? Because I ended up getting a Zivno and it was a piece of cake though the line to get to the counter was very long.
I want to clarify that by using the term petite grenouille is not to be taken offensively. My franco boyfriend doesn't like it when I call him a grenouille. I just like grenouilles the animals themselves and they remind me of la belle province.
bon alors au revoir.
Can I also add:
I was walking down the street yesterday and though it is warm out and May, what is it with women wearing beige tights? ahhh the horror. Beige nylongs...ewwwwwww.
It reminds me of the Czech girls who wear any nylons with open toe shoes in the middle of summer. Fashion faux pas! Somebody do something.

Anonymous said...

No worries about the grenouille thang - even though I've got Quebecois blood (i.e. Pepsi), I was raised in an Anglophone environment. Being called a frog makes me smile.

Business license = Zivno (though I was told that Czechs hate it when we foreigners call it "Zivno"? apparently "zivnost'ak" is the approptiate slang... I dunno. It's zivno to me)

About that nylons with open toe shoe thing - how do I break it to someone close to me that she should not do that in such a way that all hell does not break loose - i.e. so I'm not on the receiving end of a serious moaning?

Patrick