I am having one of those days – no, one of those weeks. I haven’t been able to write, I’ve been sleeping a lot and I think I nearly became a bunny boiler yesterday.
I know exactly why I have been losing it – it is that recurring overwhelming feeling that the world has gone completely irretrievably mad and there is nothing I, or anyone, can do about it. It’s the feeling that, more than any other, makes me want to go out and drink a lot, find a man to bring home with me and then copulate with him for hours and hours and hours like there’s no tomorrow. Because that is exactly how I feel – like there is no tomorrow.
A local American girl hanged herself yesterday. I didn’t know her personally, but you hear about these things. Suicide doesn’t shock me anymore.
I met a lovely bloke last week. Here is how he stands up on the three basic requirements:
1. Single – I thought so, but now I’m not so sure. Hence why I nearly became a bunny boiler. The worst thing is that I think he might have mentioned a wife, but I don’t hear well on the phone. So it could be that he thinks I know he’s married, but I don’t know, or it could be that he is not married and I am just wacked, or…. I am going to have to straighten that out. Next week.
2. Heterosexual – Oh yes. Most definitely yes. Very nicely yes.
3. Of an appropriate age – I don’t know how old he is, but I would say yes, more or less.
Lovely Bloke knows about my blog. I never gave him the URL, but he knows that if he searches “Marcel Rimel” (wank-a-thon), he will find it. I suppose the worst thing that can happen is that he’ll read this, get some insight into my mindset, and run for his life. Hey ho. Maybe I should just send him the URL and get it over with.
But the thing that does it to me is reading the news and seeing in black and white (and colour) that the world really has turned upside down and nothing makes any sense any more. I can’t name everything that is wrong and there would be no point. We all live in the same world. Read your own internet news and develop your own despondency. Stop feeding off mine.
2 comments:
Well, I know the "hell-in-a-handbasket" feeling quite well. I am VERY convinced that there will be some immense global shift in thinking; just don't know if people are going to start thinking in rational or (as I am afraid) in extra-stupid ways. It's strange to feel that nothing is as it should be - did we enter some alternate reality at some point?
That's exactly what it feels like. I think I can hear Twilight Zone music now.
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