I was with rtm, DC, Mike and Keith last night at Roxy to see Blues Explosion: I enjoyed it. We drank beer while we were there and so I had to visit the loo. Roxy is one of those places that has graffiti all over the toilets, mostly written during techno parties by pilled-up teenagers. This is what I read:
“Happiness is a shallow emotion. Anger is passion…”
There was more, quite a bit more, in fact, but you get the idea. I was disappointed that I had not chanced upon something more worthwhile to read. My problem with the writer’s thesis statement was that happiness is not an emotion at all. It may be a matter of semantics, but I would say that happiness is a state, a condition, rather than an emotion. Anger is passionate, certainly, so she got one half-right.
I then thought, hmm, both happiness and anger are fleeting – but who cares? I don’t write the product of my own boozed-up reveries on walls.
So next time you are in toilets where graffiti is the accepted thing, should you wish to take the time to write something on the wall, I propose that you copy part of a Walt Whitman poem, or a sonnet by Shakespeare, an Oscar Wilde witticism, or even Eminem lyrics. If you are DD, perhaps an essay on Austrian economic theories or something Swiss; if you are JK, consider an amusing anecdote about Lord Denning. Be philanthropic and give the toilet-goers that follow something of value to read.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Today's rant
Stephy has offered to marry me so that I can get permanent residency in the Czech Republic and avoid visa complications. That is a very generous offer, sweet Stephy, thank you. Unfortunately, while Stephy does have Czech citizenship, she currently lives in Texas, which is more or less the last place I would ever live.
On the other hand, I would like to marry Steph to assert my right to marry whomever I want. I have been outraged over the last couple of days, reading about all the fascists in America who want to control everyone else’s lives: no gay marriage, no gay adoptive parents, no gay foster parents; no benefits, no health insurance, no social protection...
It always comes down to the same thing: a bunch of closed-minded assholes trying to control other people’s lives.
We all know the conflicts and the paradoxes, e.g. being anti choice but pro death penalty, or being anti gay parents but not giving a shit if a heterosexual white man is beating his wife and abusing his children. What puzzles me is why these people are the least bit concerned about the lifestyles of people they do not even know. What difference can it possibly make to them?
The first thing I read this morning was about the president of Latvia awarding George W Bush her nation’s highest medal for being a “signal fighter of freedom and democracy in the world.” I do not understand that at all. It is ironic to me because I know that Bush does not support freedom in the US (refer to issues above, amongst others). And I would like to know in what light he can be seen as a fighter for democracy, because I see him as a corrupt war-monger and all round general fascist. It is true that in post-communist Europe, people are grateful to the US for helping to end communism, and rightfully so, but Bush junior had nothing at all to do with that. If the communists had still controlled this part of Europe when Bush junior came to power, he probably would have invaded in order to bring democracy to the people.
On the other hand, I would like to marry Steph to assert my right to marry whomever I want. I have been outraged over the last couple of days, reading about all the fascists in America who want to control everyone else’s lives: no gay marriage, no gay adoptive parents, no gay foster parents; no benefits, no health insurance, no social protection...
It always comes down to the same thing: a bunch of closed-minded assholes trying to control other people’s lives.
We all know the conflicts and the paradoxes, e.g. being anti choice but pro death penalty, or being anti gay parents but not giving a shit if a heterosexual white man is beating his wife and abusing his children. What puzzles me is why these people are the least bit concerned about the lifestyles of people they do not even know. What difference can it possibly make to them?
The first thing I read this morning was about the president of Latvia awarding George W Bush her nation’s highest medal for being a “signal fighter of freedom and democracy in the world.” I do not understand that at all. It is ironic to me because I know that Bush does not support freedom in the US (refer to issues above, amongst others). And I would like to know in what light he can be seen as a fighter for democracy, because I see him as a corrupt war-monger and all round general fascist. It is true that in post-communist Europe, people are grateful to the US for helping to end communism, and rightfully so, but Bush junior had nothing at all to do with that. If the communists had still controlled this part of Europe when Bush junior came to power, he probably would have invaded in order to bring democracy to the people.
Lingers
Staying with the musical theme chosen by Matty & DD, I am writing today about a Czech band called Lingers. I have known the founding members of Lingers, Arnošt and Tomáš, since before they started the band in 1993. Lingers are real musicians, all of them being classically trained, which is not unusual in the Czech Republic. Their lyrics, which are in English, are intelligent and poetic.
Lingers are playing in a small venue tonight in Prague and I will be there. They are also currently engaged in a competition on TV Óčko and I am not above soliciting votes for them. If you would like to see a very short excerpt of their appearance on TV Óčko, please go to http://www.hydeparkcz.cz/ and click on the bit where there are pictures of different singers. On the next screen you will see a list of the different bands in the competition; if you go to Lingers and click on the red strip where it says přehrát video ukázku (mpeg) you will get to a short video clip. If you go back to the front page, you can vote for Lingers in the bit on the right-hand side. Voting is open until sometime tomorrow evening (central european summer time).
Lingers are just starting to get recognition as artists. Upon the release of last year's Gallery, the Czech music press was generous in its praise, and MF Dnes, the country's most widely-read newspaper, called Gallery "the album of the year". The Prague Post wrote about them too; that article is in English and you can look at it at http://www.praguepost.com/P03/2004/Art/0617/featu5.php.
Lingers have their own website: http://www.lingers.cz/. You can listen to some of their music there. Just click on "music" (underneath the songlist, "texty" will take you to their lyrics). Unfortunately, beyond that, the website is all in Czech; I am going to talk to Arnošt this evening about getting it into English as well.
By the way, all of their songs are really different, so please do listen to more than one.
Thank you for your support.
Lingers are playing in a small venue tonight in Prague and I will be there. They are also currently engaged in a competition on TV Óčko and I am not above soliciting votes for them. If you would like to see a very short excerpt of their appearance on TV Óčko, please go to http://www.hydeparkcz.cz/ and click on the bit where there are pictures of different singers. On the next screen you will see a list of the different bands in the competition; if you go to Lingers and click on the red strip where it says přehrát video ukázku (mpeg) you will get to a short video clip. If you go back to the front page, you can vote for Lingers in the bit on the right-hand side. Voting is open until sometime tomorrow evening (central european summer time).
Lingers are just starting to get recognition as artists. Upon the release of last year's Gallery, the Czech music press was generous in its praise, and MF Dnes, the country's most widely-read newspaper, called Gallery "the album of the year". The Prague Post wrote about them too; that article is in English and you can look at it at http://www.praguepost.com/P03/2004/Art/0617/featu5.php.
Lingers have their own website: http://www.lingers.cz/. You can listen to some of their music there. Just click on "music" (underneath the songlist, "texty" will take you to their lyrics). Unfortunately, beyond that, the website is all in Czech; I am going to talk to Arnošt this evening about getting it into English as well.
By the way, all of their songs are really different, so please do listen to more than one.
Thank you for your support.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Christian and his mates have done it!
This in from Christian 5 minutes ago via sms:
"We have done it! 901 miles in 8.5 days."
Those guys are awesome.
Well done, C. I am very proud.
"We have done it! 901 miles in 8.5 days."
Those guys are awesome.
Well done, C. I am very proud.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Christian's progress
Yesterday was the 7th day of the charity bike ride. From Christian's sms: "Just smacked another 100 miles, staying by Loch Ness tonight, then just 2 more days."
On another note, Max is thinking of moving to Albania.
On another note, Max is thinking of moving to Albania.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
On getting a bloody visa in the Czech Republic
I used to have permanent residency but then I got divorced. I managed to fool people into thinking I still had permanent residency for a couple of years after that. In 2001 I started the process to legitimately obtain long-term residency, which was very complicated because the Foreigner Police (Czech equivalent of the INS) had been wondering where I was for a while. Then when I was almost finished and just waiting for my visa to be ready, the woman whom I had paid to handle the process for me disappeared. I found out a few years later that she had gone underground to avoid being killed by the Ukrainian mafia, or something like that. She had all my paperwork and the receipts I would have needed so I just gave up. At that point, employers/clients started paying me in cash or by invoice from England.
I was away for two years, and when I came back I went to work for the Ministry of Defence; they obtained a special visa for me. But now I am in a new non-governmental job, and I have to get a regular long-term residency visa. The firm arranged my work permit for me, which was the first step. Now the jokers want me to do the rest of the work myself.
The first step is getting an extract from the Criminal Register to prove that I do not have a criminal record in the Czech Republic. What the police want from me in order to process that:
1. a filled in form;
2. 50 Kč (about $2 US);
3. my passport; and
4. an officially translated super-legalised apostilled copy of my birth certificate.
…and they can just fuck off. For one thing, my birth certificate lives in a safety deposit box in LA and it has not seen the light of day since I got my first passport 25 years ago. I am not even going to consider the steps necessary to produce an officially translated super-legalised apostilled copy. Anyway, I happen to know, because I have done it before, that if you pay an agent to get the extract for you, they can do it without a birth certificate. I am going to go to the police tomorrow to try on my own, and when I don’t succeed I will call another agent who will probably end up having to go underground, taking all of my paperwork with her.
I was away for two years, and when I came back I went to work for the Ministry of Defence; they obtained a special visa for me. But now I am in a new non-governmental job, and I have to get a regular long-term residency visa. The firm arranged my work permit for me, which was the first step. Now the jokers want me to do the rest of the work myself.
The first step is getting an extract from the Criminal Register to prove that I do not have a criminal record in the Czech Republic. What the police want from me in order to process that:
1. a filled in form;
2. 50 Kč (about $2 US);
3. my passport; and
4. an officially translated super-legalised apostilled copy of my birth certificate.
…and they can just fuck off. For one thing, my birth certificate lives in a safety deposit box in LA and it has not seen the light of day since I got my first passport 25 years ago. I am not even going to consider the steps necessary to produce an officially translated super-legalised apostilled copy. Anyway, I happen to know, because I have done it before, that if you pay an agent to get the extract for you, they can do it without a birth certificate. I am going to go to the police tomorrow to try on my own, and when I don’t succeed I will call another agent who will probably end up having to go underground, taking all of my paperwork with her.
My Theory on Canadians
I have developed a theory on Canadians: they are all either completely boring or absolutely mad. Think about the Canadians you know, and you will realise that I am right.
Examples of boring Canadians:
1. Mullet-haired Brian who used to live in Ústí nad Labem where he taught English at a secondary school and dated 16-year olds as he was incapable of conversation with adults because he was too boring.
2. That other Canadian that used to sometimes drink at Jáma years ago; he was so boring I can’t even remember his name.
Examples of mad Canadians:
1. Celinka, aka the Mad Canadian, who enjoys nothing more than making a spectacle of herself in public. She picked a fight with Henry Rollins once and they have been pen-pals ever since. Mad as a fish.
2. Velká Laura, whose hobbies include crushing beer cans between her breasts, shacking up with rock stars for a week at a time, and travelling to Ireland for sex because she finds Canadian men boring. Mad as a fish.
Exceptions:
1. Rob is neither boring nor mad, however Rob is not really Canadian. He was born in Slovakia and his family only moved to Canada when he was 4.
2. Therefore there are no exceptions.
Examples of boring Canadians:
1. Mullet-haired Brian who used to live in Ústí nad Labem where he taught English at a secondary school and dated 16-year olds as he was incapable of conversation with adults because he was too boring.
2. That other Canadian that used to sometimes drink at Jáma years ago; he was so boring I can’t even remember his name.
Examples of mad Canadians:
1. Celinka, aka the Mad Canadian, who enjoys nothing more than making a spectacle of herself in public. She picked a fight with Henry Rollins once and they have been pen-pals ever since. Mad as a fish.
2. Velká Laura, whose hobbies include crushing beer cans between her breasts, shacking up with rock stars for a week at a time, and travelling to Ireland for sex because she finds Canadian men boring. Mad as a fish.
Exceptions:
1. Rob is neither boring nor mad, however Rob is not really Canadian. He was born in Slovakia and his family only moved to Canada when he was 4.
2. Therefore there are no exceptions.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
A Horrible Dullard
Imagine if you met a man who talked in nothing but clichés and puns. This is what happened to me last Thursday night when I met Carol & Mike’s daughter’s boyfriend. At first I tried to laugh politely at his stupidity, but that did not last long. I am known for being incapable of hiding my dislike of displays of sheer dullness, and I really hate clichés. If you don’t have something original to say, then keep your mouth shut and don’t waste my time.
Update on Christian
Yesterday was Christian's 29th birthday and the 5th day of the charity bike ride. His sms update: "We crossed the border into Scotland today and are staying in Lockerbie tonight." Inspiring.
A Random Event (one of many)
I will not say when this particular random event happened, nor will I say exactly where, but only because I want to protect the identity of the person involved. I will tell you only that I was drunk from the beginning.
I was drinking in a bar on a Friday night. I was talking to my friends, talking to strangers, letting men buy me beers, as you do. Then I got into a conversation with a bloke that I'd known for a while but did not know well. I've got no memory of what led up to this point in the conversation but suddenly he told me that he desperately desired to have sex with a man, but in terms more graphic than that. I learned that this man had not had any previous sexual experiences with other men, he had been totally heterosexual well into his 30s, but he really wanted to suck cock and get fucked up the butt.
"I don't know why I'm telling you this. I have never said any of this to anyone else before."
And then a standard Max the problem solver drunken reaction: "Okay, let's see what we can do about this." I texted a gay friend to see if he might want to help the poor bloke out. He did not. So I started telling my curious acquaintance about local gay bars and even Drake's (which I had not yet visited - see earlier post). But Max really likes to help people so we left the bar where we had started our chat and I took him to a gay bar myself. He did not last very long: neither of us had drunk even half a beer when he said he wanted to leave. Then we walked for a bit because he had said he wanted to go to mine to show me pictures of himself dressed as a woman that were on the internet. On the way he asked me if I owned a strap-on. I responded honestly, that I did not.
Once we got to my house, I looked at the pictures of him dressed as a woman. I will say that he was as attractive as a woman as he was as a man, but that is bullshit because I don't think I could even focus on the photographs by that time. We talked a bit more and then I threw him out because all I wanted to do at that point was sleep.
I have hardly seen this man at all since this episode; I think he has been avoiding me.
I was drinking in a bar on a Friday night. I was talking to my friends, talking to strangers, letting men buy me beers, as you do. Then I got into a conversation with a bloke that I'd known for a while but did not know well. I've got no memory of what led up to this point in the conversation but suddenly he told me that he desperately desired to have sex with a man, but in terms more graphic than that. I learned that this man had not had any previous sexual experiences with other men, he had been totally heterosexual well into his 30s, but he really wanted to suck cock and get fucked up the butt.
"I don't know why I'm telling you this. I have never said any of this to anyone else before."
And then a standard Max the problem solver drunken reaction: "Okay, let's see what we can do about this." I texted a gay friend to see if he might want to help the poor bloke out. He did not. So I started telling my curious acquaintance about local gay bars and even Drake's (which I had not yet visited - see earlier post). But Max really likes to help people so we left the bar where we had started our chat and I took him to a gay bar myself. He did not last very long: neither of us had drunk even half a beer when he said he wanted to leave. Then we walked for a bit because he had said he wanted to go to mine to show me pictures of himself dressed as a woman that were on the internet. On the way he asked me if I owned a strap-on. I responded honestly, that I did not.
Once we got to my house, I looked at the pictures of him dressed as a woman. I will say that he was as attractive as a woman as he was as a man, but that is bullshit because I don't think I could even focus on the photographs by that time. We talked a bit more and then I threw him out because all I wanted to do at that point was sleep.
I have hardly seen this man at all since this episode; I think he has been avoiding me.
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