Umbrellas are stupid. Why would you want to have to hold something bulky and awkward above your head when you can just wear a hood or a hat to protect yourself from the elements while keeping your hands free?
Today was the first rainy day of the year – at least the first rainy day during which I have ventured out. It has been raining steadily but lightly all day – hardly an umbrella-worthy deluge. But following are three examples of things that occurred today that illustrate what jerks people are when they are armed with umbrellas.
This morning at the tram stop, a young woman was walking with an umbrella in one hand and pulling a suitcase with the other. She was about my height, and shorter people need to be extra careful with umbrellas. But she was not paying attention and had I not pulled my head out of the way at the last second, I might have had an eye poked out by one of the spokes of her weapon. Why did she not know enough to hold the umbrella higher as she walked by me?
Walking into a building during my lunch break, a woman folded her umbrella down and then started to shake the water off it, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was spraying water on the people closest to her.
This evening, on the tram on my way home, a man got on with a closed umbrella (it was no longer raining), and as he turned nearly stabbed me in the leg with it. Why did he not realise that one must hold one’s umbrella straight up and down rather than nearly horizontally whilst in a crowded space?
This is one of my pet peeves – that so many people, when brandishing umbrellas, become fucking retards.