Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Max's Hair Fable

I got my hair cut 10 days ago. My hair is straight and I have had it longer than shoulder length (this time) for about a year. I had wanted a change, but nothing too drastic. Against the warnings of my two gay best friends, I decided to go for a fringe (bangs). After all, I thought, my hair will grow back.

But I had forgotten that I don’t like hair hanging onto my face. The problem has been complicated because I don’t normally put any effort into my hair and I don’t even own a hair dryer. (Note to TM: not entirely true – I still have the hair dryer I inherited from you when you left Prague – it’s just that it’s in storage in England.)

I have tried a few different strategies, including an effort to tolerate hair tickling my forehead (couldn’t do it), and holding the hair off my face with a clip (stunning junior high school look). But today I finally figured it out. Last week I had purchased some liquid gel for straight hair. It’s actually called ‘milk’: it is white and sticky and you can probably guess what it looks like. I had tried putting the milk just on my fringe and pushing the hair to the side but that looked weird and felt crunchy. Today I followed the directions and put the milk all through my wet hair and then combed the fringe off my face to where it used to go when it was just normal long hair. It worked: the fringe is completely to the side and under control and my hair looks sleek and fabulous.

So my story has a happy ending, but it also has an important moral:
Always listen to your gay best friends when it comes to style and your hair.


Anonymous said...


You should also listen to your girlfriends! So do you have a "Betty Page" style or are the fringes all over? Sounds suspiciously "pixie" to me!

Maybe if you feeling especially girlie, get that dryer out of storage and buy a roller brush!

I am looking at flights to Dublin -want to slut around for New Years? Now that you have mastered "hair milk" who knows where that new skill will lead..

Monkey's Max said...

Fuck you, TM. My hair is still just basically long and I look totally normal. Since I found the lait lissant anti-frizz.

Re Dublin. Can you skip it this time and just come over to Praha? I am afraid I can't leave because Kitty Killer is coming over from Texas and Olive may be coming from Deutschland. ČSA has direct flights between Toronto and Prague. We can go to all the Irish pubs here. Please say yes.

Anonymous said...

Ok, fuck me you tart!!! I just booked and paid for my flight with my sister so Praha will just have to wait until I am in Ireland on a full time basis...I know that sucks but I need to do some whoring around and those Irish boys are too good to leave behind...why not skip out on Ryan Air and fly to Dublin for 5 Euros or something crazy...

By the way that anti-frizz stuff is great and I am sure you are just as beautiful as the last time I saw you! We can have a proper girlie night ...leave the kitten killer and come and have some Dublin craic! Plus we might head over to Gallway and pester some farmer-boys..I always wanted a man in green wellies!

Anonymous said...

You lucky bitches! I could use a good whoring around. Will have to see what I find on the beaches of Fort Myers Florida. Hopefully somones hot grandson!

bangs or fringes are so over! what where you thinking?

TM, I am moving to Toronto in March. I'll call you to chat. Email me your phone number where I can reach you.

Anonymous said...

k I am not moving to TO yet.
hey max is it from garnier fructice and called Smoothing Milk? My friend uses it. IT rocks huh?