Thursday, June 30, 2005

Max on drugs

I have been away from my blog world for 2 1/2 days - not that long I realise, but it has seemed an eternity to me, especially since Monkey has finally got started, as has AG (links to right).

The reason I have been away and the reason that 2 1/2 days has seemed like 2 1/2 years is that I have been flat on my back in bed (occasionally managing a foetal position on my side) with a broken back. Okay, not literally broken, but close enough. Anyway, despite visits by AG and Monkey, and being looked after by Carol Brady, I have been bored to tears. The first day I was in too much pain to even read, yesterday I had July's Vanity Fair and the end of that book on synchronicity to keep me occupied, but I missed writing and cruising my blog world. It's not easy to sit here and type today (Day 3), but at least I can do it.

Monday night I had had a nice evening in the beer garden at Letna with Petr, Jeanie Weenie and their super-sized baby, Lukáš. We were back at their house and Lukáš did what babies do, which is anything stupid you can think of, in this case lunging for a lit candle. Not my baby: I should have let him burn himself and maybe he would have learned something, but no, I had to be SuperMax and save the bloody day. Lukáš lunged for the candle, I lunged for Lukáš (who, remember, is the size of a small running back) and my back broke. Carol and Mike came and fetched me; once home I hobbled my way into my bed, and on Tuesday morning I started calling people for drugs.

Jeanie Weenie had given me the only thing she had, which was super-strength ibuprofen. I took that, couldn't even feel a difference. AG came over with the contents of her medicine cabinet, which included muscle relaxants and codeine. Monkey went to see the Jester who gave him a prescription for me for muscle relaxants and pain killers. This is what I have taken:

6.30 - Ibuprofen - 600 mg
11.00 - medical marijuana - 1/2 spliff
12.00 - Diazepam - 10 mg
12.30 - aspirin - 1000 mg
13.30 - Dorsiflex (mephenoxalonum) - 200 mg
14.00 - medical marijuana - 1/2 spliff
18.00 - Aulin (nimesulidum) - 100 mg
19.00 - Zyrtec (for hayfever)
21.00 - Kodynal (emetini hydrochloridum - .5 mg, ephedrini hydrochloridum - 10 mg, codeini hydrochloridum - 20 mg)

8.30 - Dorsiflex + Aulin
14.00 - medical marijuana
15.00 - Aulin
16.00 - Zyrtec
18.30 - medical marijuana
19.45 - Diazepam
20.45 - Kodynal

Thursday so far:
7.30 - Dorsiflex + Aulin

Why do I know exactly what I have taken and at what times? It was Monkey's idea to keep a chart just in case I overdose.


Monkey said...

Not true. I asked you to keep a record for future weekend fun! Le Clan can be so boring with the usual ecstacy/cocaine coktail, don't you agree?! Speaking of which, we should go again soon. When you're better of course.

AG said...

Happy to see you back on your butt.

Devastatin' Dave said...


Once the pain subsides, I highly recommend seeing a chiropractor. Will do wonders for you.

Also, I'm glad to see you have a pro like Monkey monitoring your drug intake.

knottyboy said...

It's all about the dosages deary. YOu can't play with drugs until you can taste a 100th of a milligram of psilocybin in and Carmel Macchiato.

Anonymous said...

I want to hear more about your intake of the following:

Tar Heroin

(and thank goodness someone is blogging again...I have re-read DD's pot roast story over 80 times!)

Monkey said...

Don't worry about it, wanna be. Turn on any episode of COPS and live vicariously through the coloreds, not Max.

Anonymous said...

Wanna be what? You? Max? No thanks...I've watched enough of Chico and The Man to know what you are about.

I just want more Dirty Max stories...

Anonymous said...

and my last post didn't make sense...I just wanted air time for Chico and the Man.

Anonymous said...

And Tony Orlando, but fuck Dawn.

Monkey's Max said...

DD, thanks for the advice re the chiropractor - I will probably follow up on that.

And you are right that I am lucky to have Monkey. On Tuesday I asked him if he thought it would be all right for me to take the codeine on top of everything else and he said, "Take 2 or 3, they looked small."

Anonymous said...

And to think what you just described sounds like my mid-morning snack...

But then again, I am a mom, so it is okay.

People still go to Le Clan?

I hope you feel better, but be careful if you intend on listening to mum...she tends to push pills on people (run for your life!!). Hi mom!


AG said...

Hey, killer, you haven't commented on my blogs. Avoiding issues?

And as much as I love Little G, keep killing kittens. Love, Mom

Monkey's Max said...

My lovely Kitty Killer

What your mom tries to push on people is not pills (we wish), it is her hypochondria and doom and gloom, as in:

"This is the beginning of the end. You are almost 40, this is when it all starts to fall apart. First it was your knee..."

"Um, AG, that was an accident too."

"And your foot, once your foot goes..."

"Um, AG, that was my ankle, I twisted it on the cobbles."

And then, of course, the AG trademark: "You've got to cut out carbs. It will save your life."

Anonymous said...

Hope your feeling better cherie