the truth about 40

This is an actual e-mail exchange I had with a London friend today.

C: How is it being 40?

Max: Fantastic. I feel worldly and sophisticated at last.

C: One thing it does mean is that you can tell people to fuck off to their faces and they have to say thanks.

Max: Exactly. Respect and deference are now automatic.

C: I think also you're allowed to kill people by law, as long as it's quick.

Max: Good to know. I must have missed that bit in law school.

C: Yup, me too, but it's true. Someone told me.

Max: Okay. Anything else I should know about being 40?

C: Yeah. It has gotta be a WILD year, to mark the start of a new age decade for you. The year must begin with a messy party with some twat dj from London*, and get messier. At the same time, it is traditional to move to a better paid, more fulfilling job. Towards the end of the year it is custom to have a book published as a bestseller. And you get laid a lot.

Max: I suspected as much. It's funny though how the world conspires to keep the knowledge from you. Thanks, C.

* C is coming over to Prague tomorrow and will be dj-ing in a local club on Saturday night.