Monday, October 17, 2005

Living with Monkey in Žižkov

Our new landlord thinks we are the weirdest couple he’s ever seen. Which brings to mind a problem: I never meet men because gay best friends are always mistaken for boyfriends. Okay, “never” is obviously an exaggeration, but here are two examples.

1. Alan’s 30th birthday party in London. The party was during the week and Jono had to work late. At one point during the evening I was talking to an interesting (and interested) man at the bar when Alan approached me to ask about Jono.

“Max, where’s Jono?”

The attractive man raised an eyebrow, because clearly I was being asked about a boyfriend or husband. I wanted to deny any knowledge of any Jono, but alas, I could not.

“He called 10 minutes ago that he had just ordered a cab and he should be here in another 10.”

My knowledge was much too precise for a casual acquaintance so interesting and attractive man was then positive that Jono was my boyfriend/husband/whatever and there went any chance of a date or a shag.

2. Saturday night. I was out with AG. We were sitting at the bar and there was a man at the other end of the bar whom I had never seen before. I thought he might be interesting and we had already made eye contact several times but had not yet spoken. My back was to the door. Suddenly AG’s face lit up so I knew Monkey had to have just walked in. Sure enough, he came up behind me, put his arms around me, touched my boob and kissed my ear (or some similar combination of actions). Stranger at end of bar assumed “boyfriend” and actual verbal contact was never made. Another lost opportunity.

So now Monkey and I are living together. It is temporary while his new flat is being reconstructed. Monkey says 2 weeks, the landlord says up to 2 months, Max says this is Prague and you never fucking know.


Devastatin' Dave said...

Careful, Monkey is a deviated prevert.

Monkey's Max said...

Thanks for the warning, DD. But come on, it's not as if I didn't know that already.

Anonymous said...

Lately, I have been meeting women or making new female friends. When we start to talk about relationships and sex, I find out they are lesbians. Seeing as I never really had a `gaydar` for gay men or women I am oblivious to their sexuality right off the bat. That is until a couple of months ago when I started to realise there are quite a few lesbians in Theatre, living in my hood or just in Montreal.

Still, I don`t have the same problem. Guys usually ask me right off the bat if I have a boyfriend. A question to find out whether or not I am available. I answer depending on how interested I am in the guy.

Anonymous said...

PS living with a gay man includes perks. You can sample all his hygene products and even borrow some kewel clothes.

Monkey's Max said...


So Canadian men aren't very subtle then, eh?

Monkey's Max said...


P.S. Monkey is a boy and neither one of us cross-dresses.

Please don't stereotype.

Ludovic said...

get a t-shirt printed. Maybe with just your phone number. I've been planning to but ...

Anonymous said...

I wasn't stereotyping. I have no idea what monkey looks like since I have never met them her or him. I was simply sharing my experience while living with a gay man. This was before I moved to Praha. This guy had loads of bath products and kewel jeans and I think he even went into my closet to borrow my jeans and other things.

Anonymous said...

On canadian men: Well not really. They just lack that euro gentlemen je ne sais quoi, unless you get a guy from France who wear blazers work in film and smoke too much. The latter I have been meeting quite a bit this week at the film fest.