My 12-year old nephew is away at summer camp. I get to send him e-mails while he is there, and it is important for him that I do, however there is only so much I can really say to a 12-year old kid in a one-way communication. So I had this idea, that he might like it if I sent him some jokes. The problem I have run into is that I don't know any appropriate jokes, such jokes being clean, PC and suitable for children. I am aware that the kids tell inappropriate jokes to each other, but I am Auntie Max and I must set an example. Not only that, but the e-mails go through the camp administration so I wouldn't get away with it.
Fellow bloggers, would you please donate some jokes to my cause? An added benefit is that they might lighten all of our moods a little bit.
Thanks.
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17 comments:
Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
Stairs, not sure if the kids will appreciate it but it's good.
DD, that cannot be the only joke you know, and you know very well that it is not pc. You just can't resist telling it every chance you get, can you?
Why don't aardvarks get sick?
Because they have antibodies in them!
MM,
Really, it's the ONLY joke anyone needs to know. :-)
Skeeter, Anon and Marmoo - thanks very much.
DD, I do love that joke and I will tell it to my nephew when I see him, but I cannot send it to him at summer camp.
Well done, Prague contingent.
Banditos in one hour.
Stairs, I am obviously not very pc either - that cracked me up.
And I think you would make a great Godfather.
For the sake of transparency - the deleted message was blog spam.
I found some clean jokes - obviously not mine but...I think they are cute and I hope they help.
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
What language do they speak in Cuba?
Cubic!
Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He was asking for directions!
How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
Tell him a joke
when he's a baby!
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!
What is a myth?
A female moth!
Thanks, TM! I like the way all of your answers have exclamation points! I think that's very cute! Weird Canadian!
I'm not weird - just enthusiastic! I can't believe that I found jokes that are cute without any of my favourite vocab in them. hahaha
By the way our favourite crazy Canadian "Chatsy" is coming to visit this weekend from Montreal - between the two of us Toronto might actually be exciting - or a drunken brawl!
Two sausages are sitting in a frying pan. One turns to the other and says, "Oooh! It's hot in here."
The other one turns and yells, "Ah! A talking sausage!!"
TM: hahahaha! I can't wait!
HEre are some clean kid jo\kes I found kind of cute.
Knock KNock
Who is there?
Orange
Orange who
Orange you glad I came over?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Darren!
Darren who?
Darren young man on the flying machine!
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!
What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
Q: Ever heard of the illness called Chirpys?
A: It's a canarial disease and is untweetable.
How about a round of Barnicle Bill the Sailor?
Or maybe:
"Let me tell you a story 'bout man named Jed,
He took Ellie May and a put her in the bed,
Pulled down his zipper
and out came a worm of bubbling sperm." (A summer camp favorite circa 1973)
Thank you all so much for your contributions. I have just sent a collection of jokes to my nephew at summer camp. I think he'll like the jokes, or he will just continue to think that Auntie Max is not quite right in the head.
If you think of any more, I'll be sending another e-mail next week.
Thanks again.
Love
Max
What do you do with an elephant that has three balls?
You walk him and pitch to the rhino
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