Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Drinking with Max's Mom

There had not been any alcohol at the post-funeral gathering, the reason being that Annie’s siblings are all alcoholics in recovery. So as soon as Max’s family got home, the bar was open. Max’s mom asked for a small black Russian, ‘small’ meaning that the 1 ounce measure should be used rather than the 1.5 ounce measure, so the final product would be a mere 3 ounces of alcohol rather than the usual 4.5 ounces.

Black Russian: 2 measures of vodka + 1 measure of decaffeinated kahlúa. That’s right: Max’s mom is health-conscious and prefers to consume her excess of alcohol without an excess of caffeine. Especially useful when one does not wish to risk a good night's sleep. You may be wondering where one gets decaffeinated kahlúa, and the answer would be that one makes it oneself. Here is the recipe:

Max’s mom’s decaffeinated kahlúa

4 cups water
3 cups sugar
12 slightly rounded teaspoons instant decaffeinated coffee
1 fifth 100 proof vodka
3 teaspoons vanilla extract

  1. Dissolve sugar in water and then dissolve coffee into mixture.
  2. Bring to boil and let simmer 1-1 ½ hours (uncovered).
  3. Remove from heat. Allow to cool.
  4. Add vodka and vanilla.

Makes almost 2 fifths.


Anonymous said...

So basically your family is the Beverly Hillbillies!? You make your own booze...come on!!

Monkey's Max said...

Brentwood, darling, Brentwood. We left 90210 in 1981.

Anonymous said...

I love drinking with my mom. Our drink is the Ceasar cause my mom loves clamato, which she believes is healthy. I am more convinced that the vodka is healthier than the clamato.

Monkey said...

Visions of anchovies dancing in my head.

"The Caesar is the most popular drink in Canada. However it is less known around the rest of the world".

Classic Caesar

4 oz Clamato Juice
1 oz. vodka
Celery stalk
2 tsp. Lime juice
pepper to taste
salt to taste
1 Dash Tabasco sauce
2 Dashes Worcestershire sauce

(Sounds like a Bloody Mary for teetotalers.)

Bloody Mary

42 oz Vodka
3 ea Drops tabasco sauce
3 oz Tomato juice
1 x Pepper; to taste
1 ea Lemon; juiced
1 x Salt; to taste
1/2 ts Worcestershire sauce

Na zdravi!

Anonymous said...

42 oz of vodka???!!! are you making a drink or a punch bowl???

The Caesar is great because Clamato is less thick tasting and feeling...and the celery stalk makes you feel like you are being good to yourself by having a "salad"

You should try one of the Absolute flavoured vodkas and soda water...it is not sweet but has enough flavour to be refreshing...I like the orange one with soda or the Absolute vanilla ...very nice

Devastatin' Dave said...


Good call on the vodka and soda water. I like the orange or berry flavored vodkas with soda water. Good, refreshing summertime drink.

Monkey said...

What are you, fruit? There is no flavo(u)red vodka, ya weird!

The Belgians and the French fucked up beer with weird cherry and peach chemicals; thanks God for the purist Czechs.

Want flavo(u)r? Toss in a lime!


Monkey said...

Hey Tits, 42oz. is a shot in these parts.

Monkey said...

Absolut Weird.

Monkey's Max said...

The best vodka on the planet is Żubrówka, beautiful Polish bison grass vodka. Straight up, over ice, with soda, or with apple juice. Does anyone know if you can get it in the US?

Monkey said...

I got it on a LOT flight from Warsaw-JFK, dunno if it's available over there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zubrovka And while it's good, it's not the best vodka on the planet; the secret will remain safe with me.

Monkey's Max said...


Monkey said...

Nope, but it is good!