Monday, April 11, 2005

On Make-Up

This morning, a Monday morning, I was putting on my make-up to go to work when I made the mistake of thinking about what I was doing. This lapse of judgement caused several questions to arise from the depths of my consciousness, where I was keeping them safe from active contemplation.

1. Why was I putting stuff on my face at all?

I realised that I actually enjoy the process (except when I accidentally stick the mascara wand thingy into my eye). It allows me to be an artist for 5 or 10 minutes first thing in the morning.

2. Okay, but why do women in general, and some men, do this as a matter of course?

That was a harder one. It is a weird thing to do, to paint your face to go to work or to go shopping or to go out to dinner or to a bar. More “primitive” cultures paint their faces to go to war. Wait, even modern soldiers paint their faces to go to war.

Do we really think it makes us look more beautiful? [Oops, I just broke a Monkey rule about not answering a question with a question.] Not in my case, no. I am equally stunning without make-up. It does, however, make me feel more ‘polished’, like a scarf or any other accessory.

3. Why is it that people used to use make-up to make their skin whiter, and in more modern times it has become popular to make one’s skin look darker?

The collective schizophrenia of the human race.

4. Why do I torture myself with an eyelash curler?

Because I am ridiculous.

5. Why does Jono torture himself with an eyelash curler?

Because he secretly enjoys the pain.


knottyboy said...

Make up is a mask, a thin cover to give ourselves the illusion of perfection. You mean to tell me that if you were to meet some hot Czech that you wouldn't slap on the blue eye shadow before heading to the date? I think that well all know what our "best" is and we strive for that everyday. We do have a tendency to admonish ourselves when we don't achieve it.

Louise said...

I am too afraid of the eyelash curler to actually use it. As for make-up and why you wear it, I wear it to hide any blemishes on my face.

Devastatin' Dave said...

I read somewhere once that ancient Egyptian women started the practice of wearing lipstick as a way of simulating an engorged, aroused hoo-hoo dilly.

Monkey's Max said...

Knotty, darling, of course I put on eye-shadow (though perhaps not blue) for a date. But I cannot take make-up so seriously: it has nothing to do with whether or not I am at my best.

Louise, we have no blemishes, only beauty marks. And I never actually get past my eyes in putting on make-up.

Which raises another question: Why do I only pay attention to what is arguably already my best feature?

Monkey's Max said...

DD, oh dear, and I normally just wear lipstick on my hoo-hoo.

Anonymous said...

God no I don't wear Blue eye shadow...yuk!

I sometimes use make up as a 911 to cover the horror I have done to my face as I am an avid zit picker.

I love my eyes, mascara helps me flap my eyelashes at people I like and I use subtle color to enhance my gorgeous eyes, my weapons of mass flirtation. rrrrroarrr.