Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Best Burgers

I hate fast food hamburgers but I like In-N-Out. Some of you may not know In-N-Out Burger; it is a chain of drive-through burger bars in California, Nevada and Arizona. The first one was opened by the Snyder family in Baldwin Park in 1948 and every single one is still owned by the Snyder family.

The advertised menu has never changed:
- Double-Double
- Cheeseburger
- Hamburger
- French Fries
- Shakes & Beverages (Coke, etc)

The hamburgers are made from 100% pure beef; they are served with lettuce, tomato, “spread”, with or without onions (raw or grilled) on a freshly baked bun. The cheese is American. The french fries are made from fresh-cut potatoes and fried in vegetable oil. The shakes are made from real ice cream. All the ingredients are high quality and everything is made fresh to order. You don’t drive through In-N-Out when you’re in a hurry.

I never went to In-N-Out as a kid, it wasn’t the kind of place my parents took us. Then I was a vegetarian for a long time and by the time I had started eating meat again, I had moved overseas.

Anonymous A-hole loves In-N-Out, and I think our nephews must have inherited that love from him. Last month I had my first ever In-N-Out burger with my eldest nephew J. He taught me about the secret menu. The secret menu does not appear anywhere but everyone that goes to In-N-Out knows about it and how to order from it. The people that work at In-N-Out of course recognise all of the items and happily accept the secret orders.

In-N-Out Secret Menu:
- Double Meat (i.e. no cheese)
- 3x3, 4x4 (supposedly you can order up to 10x10)
- Protein Style – wrapped in lettuce instead of on a bun
- Animal Style – mustard added into the beef while it’s cooking + pickle, extra spread, grilled onions
- Grilled Cheese (2 slices of cheese; no meat)
- Flying Dutchman – 2x2 meat and cheese, nothing else (no bun, no condiments)
- Wish burger – no meat, no cheese, just vegetables and spread on a bun
- Well-done fries (brown and crispy)
- Neapolitan shake (blend of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla)

J, an enormously hungry teenager, had a 4x4 Animal Style with fries and a root beer; I had a Cheeseburger Protein Style – it was awesome. Big Sister did the driving and paid.


Monkey said...

In-N-Out also has Jesus quotes printed on its packaging. They can keep their spread and secret menu as I don't pay to be preached to.

REVELATION 3:20 (burger and cheeseburger wrappers): Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

JOHN 3:16 (soda cups): For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

PROVERBS 3:5 (milkshake cups): Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

NAHUM 1:7 (Double-Double wrapper): The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.

Skeeter said...

Ahhhh Fastfood....you hate to love it...

Some of my favorites...remember this is fastfood only, there are better stuff every where, but when you're talking fastfood..these are the shit.


Central Park....don't ask me, it's the only one I've ever seen, and it's on the road leading towards my house. I assume it started in New York, but that's it.


used to be McDonalds till they changed the grease...damn health Nazi's..F-Off!!
now the best fries are at Wendy's.


Burger King...hands down...No A Wendy's Frosty is NOT a shake, it's Ice Cream..

best burgers when you're drunk going home...Krystal's (sort of like White Castles...

best unburger when you're drunk going home..

1. Gyro, Lamb's meat not f-ing ground beef or chicken. I prefer no cucumber sauce thanks.

2. Cony Dog..hot mustard please..

3. Beef Burrito with Fire Sauce and Crunchy taco's

I gotta go, getting to hungry

Monkey's Max said...

It's a DRIVE-THROUGH - you can't read the packaging.

Charlie Parlay said...

In-N-Out is the only fast food I eat. I go Animal Style!

Monkey said...


Anonymous said...

I love fast food hamburgers, steamies, poutine you name it. Ever since I moved back to Canada, I can't eat anything from the fastfood chaines such as Burger King, McD's, A and W etc cause it makes me vomit. So I eat at this beglian burger chaine in Quebec called Frites Alors where they make homemade fries from real potatos and their own sauces, I can eat harveys and la belle province.
I have quit eating this stuff and am now on a health kick diet of salads and beans, Yoga and Capoeira which makes my muscles kill. I would love to lose a few pounds and just feel better again.
Can't wait to go to Cali and try this FF chaine. hehe!!
PS love your new blog skin.

Anonymous said...

oops that's belgian burger greasy food chaine in Quebec, Canada called Frites Alors! ben oui ostie!

Monkey's Max said...

Thanks, Chatsy.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but here goes... What the hell are "steamies"?

Anonymous said...


Steamies are little wee hotdogs that are "steamed" not fried or grilled and topped with a very yummy salad...along with poutine the perfect way to end a night of heavy drinking!

Anonymous said...

They cost 85 cents (canadian so that's .... hey our dollar is stonger now no?)

In case no one knows a Poutine is a bowl of french fries preferably McCain brand, with gravy and squeeky cheese curds. I like to add ketchup and black pepper. mmmmmmm.

Tits we should of stayed in prague and opened up a Belle Province style joint. we would of made a killing....

Monkey's Max said...

Chatsy, no, your dollar is not stronger, and even though you are not around, I still make jokes about your silly currency every chance I get. One day the US economy will collapse, but the US dollar will still be stronger than the Canadian dollar because Canadia will be going down right along with us.

Anonymous said...


How dare you! After we come in and clean up your mess! Tivole! Tits ...malone gang where are you? OMG!

Never! We will survive!

So that means the steamie is worth what like 5 cents .... American?

Monkey's Max said...

At today's exchange rate: 85 Canadian cents is equal to 72 US cents.

Anonymous said...

I'll be in the US for some shopping and tanning on a beach this winter.

Anonymous said...

I realize I'm commenting very late in the game, but I'd like to clarify the first comment above made by Monkey.

The packaging actually prints the book, chapter and verse of the scripture, but not the actual text. You'll only get a preaching of you care enough to look it up.

I am quite the fan of In-N-Out burgers. I live in Texas and while there are several decent greasy burgers here (a place in Austin serves what they call a butter burger, which is basically a burger patty with a stick of butter pressed into it while cooking) nothing really compares. I've driven to Phoenix, AZ for one. That is the furthest east that they go. There's something about an Animal Style burger with the well-done fries that make it heaven.

I've actually written the company several times asking if they will please open up a store in Texas. I finally got a response thanking me for my enthusiasm, however they have no plans on opening a store in Texas any time soon. Their reason was that it would be difficult to ensure the quality that their customers have come to expect.

If anyone reading this lives near an In-N-Out, I will pay you to over-night me a burger. Really.