Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Fart Fest


On Friday night we went to bed at about 3.30. Jono got in first and then right when I got in, he let one rip. It is only worth writing about because it was absolutely the worst smelling fart I have ever been subjected to in my whole life. We were so disgusted by it/impressed with it that we talked about it all weekend.

On Sunday night all 6 of us went to bed early. Jono said that he was feeling bloated and so he was going to take a Déflatine. I asked him what it was and he described it as “a tablet that makes you burp and fart so that you can get everything out of you.” He made me take one too. It did absolutely nothing to me but it worked instantly and effectively on Jono. He was enjoying it so much he took another. It was hilarious: he really just farted again and again and again, and then he started belching, and he stood up so he could start the burps deeper and then he farted some more. We were giggling like idiots and we could sustain the hilarity because nothing smelled like his killer fart had on Friday.

Jono, I know you may not have wanted me to write about your fart fest; please just consider it a free personal ad.

17 comments:

Tits Malone said...

MM,

Seriously, I have been laughing so much about this Deflatine - I am off to try and find some! I can hardly wait to meet Jono...nothing like a farting contest to break the ice!

Max said...

TM, you are such a weird girl. I'll bring Jono to Dublin with me.

Tits Malone said...

MM,

I know I am crazy but I hope I am at least an interesting dinner companion...(aside from all the drinking, swearing, eating and acting like a whore)

Off topic - isn't it borcek season - or is it over by now? I remember it being near the Canadian Thanksgiving but I could be (and most likely) wrong...if not have a few glasses for me...I really miss that juice!

Sinister Steve said...

Canadians have Thanksgiving? What the hell for? Are you guys thankful for the 10 feet of snow you get or an average temperature of 10 degrees?

Max said...

Hey TM, yes it is burčák season. I haven't had any yet - dangerous stuff. Check the Prague Post; there was a link from Prague Daily Monitor to a very informative burčák story in the Post. I'll look for it for you later. I am just leaving work now (please note the time).

SS, way to give the Canucks a hard time.

Charlie Parlay said...

On 10/10 Canadiens are thankful for their cheap prescription (read: black market) drugs, hockey, Pamela Anderson, Michael Myers, Molson (now Molson Coors) & great weed!
We'll trade you Detroit for beer and women.

Stairs said...

And that was the end of Jono's street credibility.

Anonymous A-Hole said...

I like to fart too. Here's one now...(sorry you couldn't hear or smell it, it was ripe).

Max said...

Stairs, that's cruel. Jono behaves much better when he's on a date, I am sure. Or at least somewhat better.

Asshole, where have you been? It figures you would finally show your face for a fart post.

Monkey said...

Busy harassing innocent bloggers and stomping on bunnies and kittens, I'm sure.

Stairs said...

Oh, I think if he were human enough to fart while on a date, it'd work in his favour in discriminating between the terminally superficial and the more healthy kind of folk ;)

Bombs away!

Chatsy Malone said...

Man! Could you not have posted this blog three weeks ago? I was sooo constipated and couldn't let out a well needed fart while working in an airconditioned congress hall and eating the same food everyday. Oh well, at least now I am aware of Deflatine. I just hope they sell it in Quebec. Quebec is a little different than Canada we don't have Taco Bell but we are getting and H&M soon!

Max said...

Chatsy, don't worry about the Déflatine - the Taco Bell should do the trick.

Stairs, I am sure Jono appreciates your endorsement. Any chance you will in London the weekend of the 7th? I'll be over for a wedding (hence the hen weekend).

Anonymous A-Hole said...

MM,

I'm back. I'm lurking for now, farting a bit, and generally waiting until something strikes my fancy.

Here, pull my finger.

Audie said...

CP,

What could you possibly want with Detroit?

Charlie Parlay said...

I'm willing to donate Detroit (pronounced: dtwa) to Canada. There are no redeeming qualities in Detroit whatsoever. You can smell the stench emanating from the city within 20 miles. Imagine a mix of Indian food, vomit, urine & bad pussy - Detroit is 10 times worse than that.

Chatsy Malone said...

I have to drive an hour over the Quebec AKA Little France and Ontario border to find the nearest Taco Bell. Open the windows!